Our classrooms are full of secrets. We have ours and our students have theirs. In each of our hearts there are dreams, quiet yearnings, silent fears…and always there are whispered doubts. Great teachers cultivate hearts warm and strong enough to hear these secret conversations, both our students and our own.
Eduardo is pulled out of class by his teacher, Rebecca, because he’s disrupting the class. In the hallway he breaks down crying and says through his tears, “I hate people making fun of me! People are always making fun of me. They say I’m fat, and maybe I am but that doesn’t give them the right to tease me all the time!”
Rebecca hadn’t noticed the teasing and felt awful. Eduardo had hidden his suffering well, for he always seemed confident and fun loving. The fact that he trusted Rebecca enough to let her know what was really going on and how much pain he was in was startling to her.
If it weren’t for Eduardo’s breakdown in the hallway Rebecca might have gone on disciplining him without ever understanding what was underlying his behavior. Because Eduardo trusted her enough to confide in her, Rebecca discovered that he was sensitive about his weight and had become the target of bullies. No matter how brave a face he put on, school had become unbearable for him. Armed with this new information she was able to take steps to curtail the bullying and make her classroom a more safe environment for all her students.
"When you take the time to actually listen, with humility to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn. Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.” – Greg Mortensen
If we ignore the unspoken conversations that are taking place in our classrooms they will fester and stand as impediments to trust, relationships, and learning. As we work to build trust, and our relationship with the class grows, we’ll find more opportunities to bring these unspoken issues to the surface, for we know that they won’t go away on their own.
Students yearn to be heard and understood, even those that are too shy or disengaged to speak. Listening to what is being communicated by their words, their tone, even their silence, is an important element of understanding the “person”.
The most basic of all human needs is to understand and be understood.
"The best way to understand people is to listen to them." – Nichols and Stevens